How To Cope When You Are Surrounded By Idiots

Are the idiots in your life driving you crazy? Do you often feel like you are surrounded by idiots? Have you ever wondered if YOU are an idiot? Do the idiotic C.Y.A. instructions on the packaging of most products you buy these days make you feel like the world must think you are an idiot? The following article contains lessons on stupidity. They cover things you should pretty much never do. There are many, many more lessons we could add, such as not floating face down in the septic tank or not applying your own tattoo with a wood burner and lead-based house paint, but these are normally material for a post-graduate stupidity course. You probably shouldn't attempt to comprehend these high-level concepts until you have mastered the more basic skills. Experience has shown that the louder you yell the principle to the idiot pupil in question the better the procedure works. (OK, a little honesty here would probably be good. The truth is, shouting the lessons probably won't have much of an effect on the idiot, because as we all know, he/she is an idiot, but it will probably make you feel a little better). Here are a few suggestions that could change your life if you are someone who is struggling with idiots in your life. If you are an idiot, try to find someone to read these principles to you and then apply them. If you are surrounded by idiots or if you have a loved one who has idiotic tendencies, you will probably want to teach these principles to the idiots in your life. You never know. It might just help.

1. You should never try to lick the bottom of the blender while the blades are still turning.

2. Never drink quarts of vinegar while eating boxes of baking soda.

3. Never clean up nitro-glycerin or unstable nuclear waste with a vacuum cleaner.

4. Never let friends hit you over the head with a baseball bat unless you are wearing a good helmet.

5. Never adjust your TV antenna during a lightening storm.

6. You shouldn't smoke while siphoning gasoline.

7. Don't microwave dynamite.

8. Never dry your hair with a blow torch.

9. Never pick your scabs while swimming with sharks.

10. Never hang glide during a hurricane. bye---byeeeeeee

When To Make Humour at Work!!!!!!!!!!!

A good laugh will do wonders for you as smiling and laughing lowers your stress levels, wins you a friendly reputation, and helps your usually tense co-workers and bosses to relax. Humour on the job will do a lot for your career, but there are a number of things you need to know about laughter and humour in the place of work. Feeling good and having humour in our lives can do wonders for our position and productivity, which means that there is definitely a place for some humour on the job. Having a smiling face will help your co-workers and supervisors feel better being around you, and you may well end up reaping rewards by laughing more in the workplace. But you need to know how to apply humour in your work environment. Laughing has been proven to be a huge stress reliever, letting you feel better and becoming more productive. To be able to loosen up and have some fun is great, so why not take that approach to work each day and lighten up around the work place? Smiling can make your job easier, more than ever if you work in customer service or sales. But there's certainly a right and incorrect way to use humour in the workplace. One of the main rules with humour in the workplace is to avoid controversy when you are joking on the job. Stay well away from joking about political affairs, race and religion. Sex is another unsafe topic because of sexual harassment in the workplace. Make sure that you stay well within the lines of decency. Never make fun at other people within your organization, as you are trying to win friends with the people you work with, and not set against them. If you can't help yourself, please be extremely careful. Poking fun at the work you do or the industry you work in is a good way to earn some smiles from your co-workers and supervisors. While these types of workplace jokes may not be so funny at home or with friends, as they really don't appreciate the pressures of your employment, the people who are around you in your job will definitely appreciate the humour about their frustrations and will be able to laugh over the situations instead of complaining. Making jokes about the ups and downs of your trade is a safe way to add wit to the place of work. You will have the benefit of knowing precisely what your co-workers have to face each and every day, and it's much better as it helps to let go of tensions and lower stress levels by getting them to chuckle about the situations they come across frequently. The very best time for some humour is when you are not working, but still in the region of the people you work with, such as a coffee or lunch break. You can also make an effort to be funny on the job, but when you are working, it's a good idea to use jokes much more thinly than you would normally do. In general, humour in the workplace is a superb area to flex your creative muscles and give your job a little boost. Humour in the workplace helps stress levels to drop, and your co-workers will feel better about working with you. Start gradually, and add a few more safe jokes here and there to incite a few smiles. Everyone will feel better because of your efforts.